Wanda Mann

Life was going along quite well and our international adventures started to begin!

Within a couple of months of being married, we left Canada and went to live in Israel for a period of 7 months.  After learning that I was pregnant (and embarrassed to be so, ‘cause then everyone would know what we were doing!  Ok, I admit it... I was green!), we came home and settled in.  Bruce was a carpenter by trade and soon found work.  I stayed home with the new baby... and then had 3 more over the next 6 years!  The moving patterns also continued as we relocated 3 more times.

It was probably sometime after having our 1st baby that the Lord started to reveal something to me.  Bruce would frequently tell me how beautiful I was... and I would just as frequently laugh and thank him; for after all, he was entitled to his own opinion.  You see, I never really believed it for myself.  It occurred to me that I was insulting him when I laughed, but I could not shake the negative feelings that I had about myself.  You see, in all my growing up years I didn't have any recollection of dad telling me that I was pretty.  I seemed to gain more approval from him if I went out with my brothers (I was sandwiched between the 2 of them in age) and doing what they did best.  I became very good at sports, didn’t like wearing skirts (still don’t:), and just became a bit of a tom-boy.  I don’t think I even started wearing makeup until I was in my mid 20’s... sorry Bruce.

Now, just so you get the complete picture here; I really liked doing a lot of the things that my brothers did!  I had fun playing street hockey and beating my older brother in basketball -- I loved sports & adventure, so it never occurred to me that anything was lacking.  I had a lot of great times with him.

So, as you can appreciate; this whole 'beautiful woman' thing really caught me off guard...  I was used to compliments about music, creativity, sports and even ministry & leadership skills.  But I was not used to the 'pretty' comments.  I realized again, that this was an area where I lacked a lot of self worth.

God is so good!  He not only gave me a wonderful husband who, over the years has built me up & honoured me, but He also gave me a great opportunity with my dad where we were able to discuss some of these things.  Dad was so surprised at the impact of what he missed and so sorry.  He told me that he always thought I was beautiful but was afraid to tell me because he didn’t want his little girl to get proud.  I am so grateful for this moment!  I think that something in his little girl was finally able to grow up.  I also thank God for Bruce, who always loved me for who I was & through the years has made me a better and more confident person.

You may be someone who can relate to this journey of mine.  I realize, as time goes on that God is always wooing me to His view point.  He wants me to see what He sees; not just in others, but in me as well.  He simply loves me.  He simply loves you.

Here are a couple of scriptures that I will leave with you today.  They have meant so much to me personally:

Zephaniah 3:17 - "The LORD your God is with you, He is mighty to save.  He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with his love, He will rejoice over you with singing."

Psalm 45:11 - "The King is enthralled by your beauty; honor Him, for He is your Lord."

So, know that the King is enthralled with your beauty... You can trust Him as your Lord.