Carol

It was New Year's Day when I got the news.  There had been an accident at about 2 am and my friend Carol, was dead.  I didn't know too many details other than she was driving home from a party and drove into oncoming traffic.  My heart sank and my mind jumped to the worst conclusion... that she was drunk and lost control.

Carol had been my friend for a few years and was one of the main reasons that it was so hard for me to move away when I was in grade 9.  She was vibrant, full of spunk and full of life.  In short (and she was kind of short too:), she was just a ton of fun to be around.  She loved God and she loved people.  In fact her love of people seemed to be a struggling point for her and was often her downfall.  She wanted so badly to do what was right before God, but just didn't seem to have the stamina to live right around her many, unsaved friends.  Often I would see Carol at church on a Sunday in tears and asking God to forgive her for the slip ups of the night before at some social gathering or party with her school friends.

I guess that's why my heart just sunk so fast when I heard the abbreviated news that day so many years ago...

What I found out afterwards sent my heart soaring!  Carol was coming home from a party and it was the wee hours of the morning, BUT she was coming from a church youth party!  She was alone and driving home at such a late hour that she must have fallen asleep at the wheel.  Apparently, the Sunday prior to the accident, my friend had once again been down at the alter confessing her sins and crying out to God for help.  She had made things right again with her God and unbeknownst to her, right before she was to meet Him face to face. 

Even though this was a terrible shock for her family and friends it also had a sense of relief to it.  You see, we serve a God who is 'rich in mercy', slow to anger and generous with forgiveness.  He knows how much we can handle and will not leave His kids in places that are beyond them.  Listen to what Ephesians 2:4-5 says:  "But because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ..." 

We serve a God who loves and responds to our cries for help.  We also serve a God who totally understands the strength of the temptations that we face.  He lived here once and went through all the stuff of life just like we do.  He sympathizes with us.  That's exactly what we are told in Hebrews 4:15!

Maybe you feel like you've just "fallen from grace" one too many times or maybe you're just embarrassed to go back again to God and admit that you really need His help.  For one thing, none of us can ever be beyond grace.  Don't be afraid and don't let fear hold you back.  God loves you more than you or I could even try to understand.  He is rich with it!  That's why He sent His son Jesus to come to this earth, live a human life and then die for our sin debt.

He believes in you and has an incredible destiny for you to live out, but you need His help to do it... and so do I.  He has forgiven me 100's... no, 1,000's of times!  Each time I come to Him to say sorry, I am ashamed.  And each time I come He loves me up, forgives me and takes away the shame... again.

You know, I have often thought that God saw Carol's heart and that she had come back to Him.  Could it be that He thought it best to bring her home while He had her? I don't know, but what I do know is that He knows how much we can handle. 

"Rich in mercy" ...what a thought.