Recently, we were away for the weekend with our kids and their kids. It was so much fun! Not excessive amounts of sleep, but tons of food & fun!

As I observed the interactions and conversations, a wondering thought crossed my mind... have I placed too much weight on the successes and failures that we have experienced together? Have I allowed the status of having a 'successful family' to become part of my identity?

I am not discounting any of the positive or negative experiences as they have served to only enrich our lives, but I think that the Holy Spirit was challenging me with these questions.  Had too much of my identity, sense of accomplishment and well being been swayed by the plus' and minus' of family life?

I realize that I am possibly only speaking to myself here, but I'll continue so I can learn something...

Kids are a gift. They've been entrusted to us by our Father, God. They’re not ours to claim credit for or place a feather in our cap about. We had no more input into their design and natures than we did in our own. The truth is, that we could only control certain elements of their lives. Make no mistake, they do reflect us and the home of their upbringing, the steering, nurturing, and guidance that we as parents have given them, but they are still Gods, ingrained with His DNA, entrusted to us.

As a mom and nana, I must not forgo or take lightly the responsibility that I’ve been given ... the stewarding of several children. But, I should not take ownership nor credit for what is Gods. I must release them, daily if necessary, to His plan, looking to Him on how to encourage these kids, truly assisting them to become all that God has designed them to be.

I don't think parenting really ends, it just changes.

All of our children are now adults, raising their own crews. When they were babies, my husband & I did everything for them. Now we serve and try to interact from a different position — much more like the sidelines of a grand race, cheering them on. It doesn’t mean though that I don’t have occasional meltdowns, forget my position, and jump down on the track to help!  Sigh... I’d still try and win the race for them if I could! But that is just dumb and quite frankly, selfish.

This is their race, not mine. If they ask for help, I’m right there to give them support and love, to coach, but I must send them on. Is it hard to do that? You bet it is! My momma heart wants to be involved in every aspect of their lives... I don't like the separation, but I do love to see them grow and become confident adults and leaders in their home and surroundings.

They are God’s kids, and I have to trust that He is showing them the next steps. I must believe that their hearts are trained well and they only want what we, as earthly parents, have wanted for them... to know, love and serve the heart of God. If I don’t believe that, then I fail them in all the messages of faith that I have shared and lived for them over the years.

So, I humbly return to my seat in the stands and start cheering (and praying) all over again.

"But Daniel purposed in his heart..."
(Daniel 1:8)

These questions were ringing in my head as I hovered over the above verse:

• What drives me?
• What motivates and compels me?
• What values and convictions do I live and stand by?
• What is my purpose?

Daniel & his three friends, all from Israeli nobility & royal line, were exiled to Babylon and commanded to be brought for training so they could serve in the Babylonian king's court. It would be 3 years of language and custom training, learning the culture of the land and eating the king's food. This is where I stumbled over the verse... "Daniel resolved (purposed) not to defile himself with the royal food and wine, and he asked the chief official for permission not to defile himself this way."

But Daniel purposed in his heart... My heart cried out to God. What purpose was driving me? I needed clarity & conviction to have the stamina and motivation to move forward... to find my voice... to fulfill my destiny.

Why? Because I am a visual person. I typically respond to what I see and feel both internally and externally. My internal driver is the biggest motivator and often the place where creativity, compassion, and serving comes out of. Not everyone is influenced in this manner.  My husband, Bruce, is totally different! BUT, there is great benefit when we work together because we compliment and affirm one another... that is a topic for another day.

The purpose of this writing is to share what I discovered through meeting with a life coach. In doing so, I hope to encourage someone today who may find themselves in a similar spot. We met over the phone to discuss some of the business endeavors that Bruce & I were pursuing. What ended up happening though was more like a God-inspired, heart-aha moment. Here's the gist of that day's conversation...

Makes me think of a scene from the movie, 'The King's Speech' where Lionel is preparing the duke for his inauguration and provokes him into blurting out his conviction:

King George VI: [Sees Logue is sitting on the coronation throne] What are you doing? Get up! You can't sit there! GET UP!
Lionel Logue: Why not? It's a chair.
King George VI: No, it... That is not a chair. That is... that is Saint Edward's chair.
Lionel Logue: People have carved their names on it.
King George VI: [Simultaneously] That... chair... is the seat on which every king and queen...
Lionel Logue: [Simultaneously] It's held in place by a large rock.
King George VI: That is the Stone of Scone. You ah-are trivializing everything. You trivialize...
Lionel Logue: I don't care about how many royal ...
King George VI: Listen to me.
Lionel Logue: ...have sat in this chair.
King George VI: Listen to me. *Listen to me!*
Lionel Logue: Listen to you? By what right?
King George VI: By divine right, if you must. I am your king.
Lionel Logue: No, you're not. You told me so yourself. You said you didn't want it. Why should I waste my time listening...?
King George VI: Because I have a right to be heard! I have a voice!
Lionel Logue: [pauses] Yes, you do.
[Longer pause]
Lionel Logue: You have such perseverance, Bertie. You're the bravest man I know. You'll make a bloody good king.

The day before Jesus made the above statement was the day he fed 5,000 men along with all of their families. (see John 6:1-14) It's a fairly well known story and not the only time that Jesus performed this type of miracle along with his disciple team. (see Mark 8:1-10)

The gist of the story was that crowds came out of the city and surrounding area to listen, see, and experience the power of God through Jesus. His fame was rapidly spreading and people wanted to be near him. Unlike today, there were no off-highway, fast-food services for people to stock up on meals so they were out there lacking necessities.

Jesus saw them. Jesus had compassion on them. He asked if anyone had food and found that a boy had a lunch that could be shared... with 5,000+ people. Jesus got the disciples to organize the crowd into groups of 50, took the boy's lunch, thanked him and thanked God for it and then started handing it out via his team. The crowd ate until they were full! A guess-timation would be that 8-10,000 adults plus another few 1,000 children would have been there and been fed. Amazing!!!

When I was reading this today, this verse literally stopped me! I had to ask God what He was wanting me to see. I've read this story so many times but not hung my hat on this particular verse before. What was God wanting me to realize?

The word for 'lost' in the greek is 'apollymi'. It is also used in several other verses in the New Testament meaning destroyed, perish and wasted.

...nothing is lost.

As I pondered, I saw a park being cleaned -- not unlike what the church in Brantford did after Canada Day at Lions Park. I thought, Jesus is exhibiting good stewardship, honour of the land that was probably left a mess by the crowd. But then I thought, the birds could have cleaned this one up.

Hmmmm... Then I thought, this is yet another visual for the crowd and his disciples showing God's power and generosity. This was not a new idea for me though. So, I kept pondering... I still could not articulate what was in my spirit. I continued to read on in John 6 and that's when I saw it! Look again at verse 39:

When God does something, everything about it is sacred. Nothing is lost. Nothing is wasted. Everything given by Him is intentional with full potential to be effective, revealing Jesus and the way to everlasting life. Nothing is meant to be lost!

Everything done in obedience to the Holy Spirit of God, whether in public or private or private or private (yes, I know I repeated myself) will not be lost. Every moment, act of faith, dollar spent, deed done, seed planted, prayer cried, neighbour served, will not be wasted for this is the will of our Father.

Even the unused fragments picked up off the ground were a testimony that indeed the crowd was miraculously fed to the max. We don't know what Jesus did with the leftovers, but I'm sure they weren't wasted!

As I was reading my Bible one morning I was constantly having to refocus.  My mind was not listening and instead was in full throttle worry over things that I knew I should not be concerning myself with.  That's when I stopped and said (out-loud)... My mind is my worst enemy!
It dwells on things it shouldn't.  It fast forwards and then rewinds.  It seems to have its own will.
Sigh.
And then I heard Paul saying (not out-loud :), "O wretched person that I am!  Who will deliver me from this body of death?"
But wait, he then says...
"So then, with my mind I myself serve the law of God... (Romans 7:24,25)

For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit." (Romans 7:25; 8:5)

With my mind?  When I am muddling over things that have already taken place, I am concerning myself with what I have no power over.  When I am rehearsing the future, I am concerning myself with things that do not belong to me.  I am serving my appetites, desires and fears -- not God.  When my mind is serving the Spirit of God it is not strategizing on how to fix someone or something else that was not given to me to fix.  It is alert and at rest and becomes an asset for God's kingdom, full of the thoughts and ways of Christ.  It sees clearly, discerns rightly, listens well, responds obediently, and sleeps well at night.  It loves and believes the impossible.  It believes the best and is ready for God's direction & wisdom.

Does this resonate with you? Has your mind gone off track?
If so, why don't you pray what I did:

Forgive me, Lord for forgetting.
Forgive me for taking ownership - for taking Your spot.
I set my mind on You and Your ways.
I set my mind on the things of the Spirit.

Have a peaceful & effective day!

This morning I woke up way too early (4:30am!) and my mind was bombarded with several failures of my past. I had flashbacks of many moments that I wished could be erased or at least that I could go back and redo. Half asleep, I tried to rally my thoughts and gain proper footing. My heart was saddened with the memories. I think it will always be, for there was nothing good in these moments of selfishness and pride. But, and there is a but, these were not the end of the story!

Each moment of life can be separated out as a snapshot in time, an instagram post with no explanation of the why or the where of the image. Each moment though has another attached to it on either side and each of those do as well. If I were to take a few steps out I would find that the images connected like dominoes, creating a story board of motion and revealing a greater perspective than any one image could have on its own. That is the reality of life.

What I saw in my half comatose state, were up-close, snapshots without any context attached to them. They were flipping by so quickly, reminding me of the dark moments of much larger scenarios... reminding me of things that I could have done better!

Today is Good Friday. This has always been a sobering day for me, largely due to being raised in a home that was very careful to honour its memory of one of the most significant moments in history, the day that Jesus Christ was crucified. As a moment in time, it was beyond sad, it was wrong, it was cruel and, it was a dark stain of injustice on humankind. This innocent man was unjustly tried and murdered.

These moments in time can give the great impression that somehow darkness had won and that the devil had gained prominent status. I suppose, as a snapshot, that is what seemed to be apparent in this case.

What one has to do though, is to stand back and observe the broader picture, the complete story as far as we have told us, viewing the history leading up to the event and the cascade of moments sprouting off of it. From that vantage point, even the darkest day can often find a greater purpose, even a victory. Think of all the sacrifices made over the years by valiant soldiers giving their lives to rid us of a pressing evil...

In this moment of history, Jesus Christ, the son of God, gave his life willingly as a sacrifice for humanity's selfish ways, gaining us eternal freedom. He was a sinless man who took on our sins, our moments of selfishness and pride and paid for them with his life. He was the perfect sacrifice, saving us from ourselves.

Now, I can soberly take my moments of sin (past or present) to this same Jesus and find that I am forgiven and released from the eternal offense of them. I can also find that my mind, though sad at memories of failure, does not feel guilty anymore. Jesus paid the price for them and there is nothing left for me to be condemned about.

Such news is good and brings my heart and head peace! Maybe that's why it wasn't long before I fell back to sleep again :)

The Nativity Story

Luke 1:14 - You will have great joy and gladness, and many will rejoice at his birth.

Matthew 1:18-25 - This is how Jesus the Messiah was born. His mother, Mary, was engaged to be married to Joseph. But before the marriage took place, while she was still a virgin, she became pregnant through the power of the Holy Spirit. Joseph, her fiancé, was a good man and did not want to disgrace her publicly, so he decided to break the engagement quietly. As he considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream. “Joseph, son of David,” the angel said, “do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife. For the child within her was conceived by the Holy Spirit. And she will have a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” All of this occurred to fulfill the Lord’s message through his prophet: “Look! The virgin will conceive a child! She will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel, which means ‘God is with us.’” When Joseph woke up, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded and took Mary as his wife. But he did not have sexual relations with her until her son was born. And Joseph named him Jesus.

Isaiah 11:1 - Out of the stump of David’s family will grow a shoot—yes, a new Branch bearing fruit from the old root.

Matthew 2: 1-23 - Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the reign of King Herod. About that time some wise men from eastern lands arrived in Jerusalem, asking, “Where is the newborn king of the Jews? We saw his star as it rose, and we have come to worship him.” King Herod was deeply disturbed when he heard this, as was everyone in Jerusalem. 4 He called a meeting of the leading priests and teachers of religious law and asked, “Where is the Messiah supposed to be born?” “In Bethlehem in Judea,” they said, “for this is what the prophet wrote: ‘And you, O Bethlehem in the land of Judah, are not least among the ruling cities of Judah, for a ruler will come from you who will be the shepherd for my people Israel.’”

Then Herod called for a private meeting with the wise men, and he learned from them the time when the star first appeared. Then he told them, “Go to Bethlehem and search carefully for the child. And when you find him, come back and tell me so that I can go and worship him, too!” After this interview the wise men went their way. And the star they had seen in the east guided them to Bethlehem. It went ahead of them and stopped over the place where the child was. When they saw the star, they were filled with joy! They entered the house and saw the child with his mother, Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasure chests and gave him gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. When it was time to leave, they returned to their own country by another route, for God had warned them in a dream not to return to Herod.

After the wise men were gone, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream. “Get up! Flee to Egypt with the child and his mother,” the angel said. “Stay there until I tell you to return, because Herod is going to search for the child to kill him.” That night Joseph left for Egypt with the child and Mary, his mother, and they stayed there until Herod’s death. This fulfilled what the Lord had spoken through the prophet: “I called my Son out of Egypt.” Herod was furious when he realized that the wise men had outwitted him. He sent soldiers to kill all the boys in and around Bethlehem who were two years old and under, based on the wise men’s report of the star’s first appearance. Herod’s brutal action fulfilled what God had spoken through the prophet Jeremiah:

“A cry was heard in Ramah—weeping and great mourning. Rachel weeps for her children, refusing to be comforted, for they are dead.”

When Herod died, an angel of the Lord appeared in a dream to Joseph in Egypt. “Get up!” the angel said. “Take the child and his mother back to the land of Israel, because those who were trying to kill the child are dead.” So Joseph got up and returned to the land of Israel with Jesus and his mother. 22 But when he learned that the new ruler of Judea was Herod’s son Archelaus, he was afraid to go there. Then, after being warned in a dream, he left for the region of Galilee. So the family went and lived in a town called Nazareth. This fulfilled what the prophets had said: “He will be called a Nazarene.”

Luke 2: 1-20 - At that time the Roman emperor, Augustus, decreed that a census should be taken throughout the Roman Empire. (This was the first census taken when Quirinius was governor of Syria.) All returned to their own ancestral towns to register for this census. And because Joseph was a descendant of King David, he had to go to Bethlehem in Judea, David’s ancient home. He traveled there from the village of Nazareth in Galilee. He took with him Mary, his fiancée, who was now obviously pregnant. And while they were there, the time came for her baby to be born. She gave birth to her first child, a son. She wrapped him snugly in strips of cloth and laid him in a manger, because there was no lodging available for them.

I cannot begin to tell you how much this means to me. One of the most immense gifts that Jesus gave us that first Christmas was freedom from the guilt of sin. As he lived in Mary, I too can have him live in me. When He moves in, guilt and shame moves out! His Spirit shows me how to do life the way Jesus did, with joy and freedom.

“There is, then, now no condemnation to those in Christ Jesus, who walk not according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit; for the law of the Spirit of the life in Christ Jesus did set me free from the law of the sin and of the death;”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:1-2‬ 
http://bible.com/821/rom.8.1-2.ylt1898

God's love for us is intense.  So much so, that he took the effort to speak very directly with people so we could not mistake the miracle and gift of Jesus' birth. He lavished his love, attention, and affection on us when we weren't even looking for it.

What is it to lavish?  Lavish is an old word with rich meaning, as in, sumptuously rich, luxurious, and elaborate. What does this have to do with Jesus Christ's birth?

On one hand, Jesus left rich & luxurious surroundings to be born into poverty. But on the other hand, God dealt elaborately in matters relating to the people who were directly involved with Jesus' birth, benefiting not only them but us, today, as well.  Here are a few scenarios recorded for us:

• God sent his angel Gabriel to tell Mary that she was chosen to bear His son
  
• God sent angels to Joseph at least 3 times in dreams to instruct him very specifically on what to do with Mary's pregnancy and Jesus safety
  
• He hung a special star that magi would follow, leading right to the doorway of the house that Jesus lived in at the time.
  
• More angels appeared... well, actually a massive crowd of angels appeared to celebrate the announcement of Jesus' birth to the shepherds!
  
• God sent another angel to the magi after they saw Jesus to warn them of Herod's intent to kill Him.
  

What is it to lavish? God's love. He loved so much that He gave.